


Fire in my Blood

by EVVS



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alcohol, F/F, Fate & Destiny, Found Family, Gen, M/M, Secrets, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:00:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23381326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EVVS/pseuds/EVVS
Summary: “Glad to see you and Deuces have taken to rooming together, finally,” Beau said with a knowing look, sliding one of the shots of fire whiskey to Caleb.He considered the amber color of the drink and looked to Beau, only to see that she had already downed her shot. Caleb shook his head momentarily before tipping back his own. “We have been taking things slowly. But there is no rush, we have time.”Beau raised a brow but reconsidered. She cracked her neck and sighed. “So, you’ve told him then?”
Relationships: Beauregard Lionett & Caleb Widogast, Caduceus Clay/Caleb Widogast, Jester Lavorre/Beauregard Lionett, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 124





	Fire in my Blood

According to Caleb, the tavern’s ale was pretty good. According to Beau, the tavern’s wine was even better.

Everyone else had trickled to bed slowly. Nott first, since she wanted to make up for lost time with Yeza. Then Yasha, but bed was an abstract thought for her - she’d made her way outside to talk to the sky instead. Fjord gave Beau a pat on the shoulder before heading to bed, quickly followed by Jester. Caduceus stayed as long as he could manage, sitting attentively to Caleb’s left, almost falling asleep at the bar as time passed. Warm tea could do that to a tired man.

Beau ordered shots for the two of them, now having to spend much less gold to get the good liquor. She didn’t have to buy for everyone, after all.

“Glad to see you and Deuces have taken to rooming together, finally,” Beau said with a knowing look, sliding one of the shots of fire whiskey to Caleb.

He considered the amber color of the drink and looked to Beau, only to see that she had already downed her shot. Caleb shook his head momentarily before tipping back his own. “We have been taking things slowly. But there is no rush, we have time.”

Beau raised a brow but reconsidered. She cracked her neck and sighed. “So, you’ve told him then?”

A cough, maybe from the fire whiskey, maybe not, erupted from Caleb. “Gods, no.” He stared at her, reading her face, wondering, unfathomably, if she had told him. But she wouldn’t. Caleb had to believe she wouldn’t.

He trusted her, after all.

“No, I haven’t told him,” Beau said, almost sneering at the notion. “Don’t get your scarf in a twist about it, your secret’s safe with me.” She shook her head, rolled her eyes, and motioned to the bartender for two more.

Caleb sighed and took the next shot from the bartender, watching the color shift in the dim candlelight.

“Why haven’t you told him yet though?” When she saw his almost feral eyes, the eyes she hadn’t seen in many, many months now, she retracted a bit: “I just mean that, y’know, I’ve heard you tell him you love him, an’, like, I’ve heard him say it back, right?” Beau tried to search his face and saw the guilt there.

His mouth opened. Then closed. His lips twitched for a second before he slowly managed, “It is hard to look him in the eye and- and consider telling him the _atrocities_ I have committed. He is a sweet man. A good man… and I fear he will see me differently.”

Beau threw back her second shot and watched as Caleb sipped at his own. “He might, but that’s the point of love, isn’t it? Finally being real with someone? Kicking back and owning your shit with someone who doesn’t mind?”

“But what if he does mind?”

“He’s Caduceus! He won’t mind!”

Caleb’s fingers ran along the edge of his shot glass, half empty. “He is a protector. He has helped us time and time again.” With a deep breath, he continued, “And I burn people to a crisp.”

“I mean, you also burn monsters!”

By the look of Caleb’s blanched face, that didn’t make him feel any better.

Beau leaned forward on the bar, trying to look up into Caleb’s downturned face. “I just mean that you protect us too, Caleb. It looks different, yeah, but I punch shit to get the job done. We can’t all be clerics.”

Caleb drained the last of the fire whiskey. He held two fingers out to the bartender, ordering the next round. “He wants me to be happy,” Caleb emphasized softly. “He reminds me that vengeance- that vengeance does not always equate to happiness. He makes me want to be a better person.”

The smallest smile pulled at Beau’s lips, but she tried her damnedest to hide it.

“Caduceus knows my feelings towards the Assembly,” Caleb continued, “but he reminds me that it is about stopping them from harming others rather than my own vendetta.”

Another shot was placed in front of each of them.

“But you want Trent dead.”

His eyes answered with a resolute “yes”.

Beau threw back her shot and watched as Caleb did the same.

After a long pause, Beau took a breath. “So… what’re you gonna do about it? It’s, like, a bit of a crux. 'cause I don’t know that Caduceus would stop you if-”

“No, he would not. And that is the problem.” Caleb’s fingers began to fidget, the way they always did when he was nervous. “He sees a path for me, a path of power. What it is he sees, I do not understand. But Caduceus… his beliefs are so firmly rooted in faith and destiny. I admire as much about him, but the idea that I was fated to…” His jaw steeled for a second. A deep breath. “I do not want to believe I was born to do such things. I was not born with fire in my blood, but I will certainly die with it there.”

Reaching over, Beau placed her hand over his, steading his fingers. “It’ll be a fire born of love, at that point, Caleb. It’s- It’s not always about torching your loved ones, but like what you did with Avantika? You kept us safe. And you’ll keep Caduceus safe. May not be destiny or whatever, but he wants _you_. Maybe the thing you have to look at isn’t what you’ve done as destiny, but, like, the stuff you’ve gotten to after that.”

The bartender offered them the bottle, but Beau shook her head, shrugging him off.

“Look, Caleb, we’ve all got our shit, right? But your shit led you to have a new family. And now you’ve got Cad, and that’s pretty great, isn’t it?”

Caleb swallowed hard and nodded. “He is… incredible.”

“And you said you wanted to be a better man for him!”

“I do.”

“Then own your shit, Widogast!” He slammed her fist on the bar for emphasis, making their glasses rattle and dance.

“You know that is not my name, right?”

His deadpan sometimes made Beau want to tear her hair out. “You ruined the moment, Caleb.”

“Also not my name.”

Beau groaned and gave him a hard side-eye. “Point is, you gotta be honest with Caduceus. Doesn’t have to be tonight ‘cause, well, we’re gonna be a little messed up by the time we head upstairs, but soon. Yeah?”

“ _Ja_ ,” he said with a tired look to her. A happy tired sort of look. “But does that mean you will tell Jester eventually?”

Immediately looking away, Beau rolled her eyes and mumbled an “I have no idea what you’re talkin’ about” before grabbing the bartender’s attention. Two more shots were delivered.

Caleb did not press the matter. He picked up his glass and raised it to Beauregard. “To… To whatever forces brought us all together.”

“Prob’ly the Traveler.”

“ _Ja_.”

_Clink._


End file.
